if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
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So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's rum buckets o'clock
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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