your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize