You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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