why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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