but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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