Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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