He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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