I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
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Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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