that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize