saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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