last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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