Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize