kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize