Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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