her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
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You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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