when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize