you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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