About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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