Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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