I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize