Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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