I need help removing her.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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