Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
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My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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