I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i think my cat just said my name.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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