i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
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I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
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i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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