Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
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We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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