and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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