i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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