I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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