i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize