oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
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We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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