so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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