i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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