"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize