I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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