her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize