Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
not ubering you a puppy
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