yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize