I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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