I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think people are normalizing furries
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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