I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize