Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize