I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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