I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
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I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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