what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize