Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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