is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize