You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
When are your genitals available?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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