Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize