I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
false alarm, still single
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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